Make New Friends

You probably know the song:  Make new friends, but keep the old, one is silver and the other’s gold.

I don’t talk about the Army a lot, because frankly, that is my husband’s job.  But in one place it does really affect my life is when it comes to making new friends.

Well, today was Simon’s birthday party with his friends.  He had a great time!  It was just during our normal playgroup, so it wasn’t anything unfamiliar or out of the ordinary for him. Plus, he got more cake.  How could he not be happy with that?

I do have to say that having a child has made meeting people easier for me.  But meeting people does not always equal friends.  For example, we invited everyone who is part of the regular playgroup to come to Simon’s party today.  Everyone RSVP’d, and a few people couldn’t come.  Life happens, that’s okay.  But today we had someone not show up.  They RSVP’d yes, and just didn’t show up.

That just isn’t okay with me!

I’m not naive, I know that I am not going to be best friends with everyone I meet.  Sometimes I think that I have a harder time making friends because I have high standards.  This might be the case, because I have a pretty demanding friend wishlist:  reliable, honest, fun.  Those first two though, are really hard to come by.  As for the third…well, there has to be chemistry with friends just like with a romantic relationship as well.  Fun is subjective.

With that in mind, it is still hard to make real friends, even with a child.  This time, as many people looking for romantic relationships do, I went online.  I’m not new to meeting people online, I am sure that a few of my friends that I know from online military or mommy forums are probably reading this right now.  Some I have met in person, some not.  But going online with the sole purpose of finding people to be friends with was new to me.  Simon and I have made most of our friends on Meetup.

While I might have mentioned that one girl who didn’t show up, we have made at least three or four good friends, so I can’t complain  Really, we’ve had a good experience so far.  We have a group of friends that is pretty reliable, who come to play every week.  The person who didn’t show up today?  Maybe we just don’t have that chemistry.  Whatever the case may be, when you only spend so much time in one place, until you get up and move and need to make friends all over again, there is no reason to waste time on people who don’t care about you.

The song continues:  A circle’s round, it has no end, that’s how long I want to be your friend.

Now that is what I’m looking for.

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3 thoughts on “Make New Friends

  1. It seems that the older we get, the harder it is to make friends. You would think it would be easier… you’re not dependendant on mom or dad to drive you somewhere, there are more places you are able to go to spend time and most people tend to mature with age. And yet, it is really hard. Probably because, as you said, we’re going for quality not quantity. Since I have many of the same thoughts on this as you, the only thing I can add is that I’m very thankful that I was able to use the internet to make friends. Because some of the people I’ve met from there have become great friends and people I know I can always count on…even if I don’t see them very often (or at all lol)

  2. Sorry the person didn’t show up. I’d be perturbed by it. We moved around loads when I was growing up and it always took me a while to make connections and establish relationships with people. Now I prefer to have a few close friends who i value and trust than waste time on people who are unreliable and that I don’t connect with. I know that sounds harsh but I’m not sure how else to put it xxx

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